Hello, Fall!

 

Hello, Fall!

Wishing you all a wonderful autumn season!

In the last weeks of summer, we had the tremendous pleasure of enjoying many fireside conversations.  Those conversations have not only sparked something like a new idea or a deeper friendship, but they have become a sacred research ground.  Many of you have inspired me just by knowing you and learning more about you . . . your dreams, goals, hopes. 

That being said, I, too, am excited to be working toward a few goals of my own! 

What is going on . . . 

We participated in the annual gala for the Children's Museum. My husband played sweet jazz with the Joe Hunter Trio.  I had the chance to meet some fabulous people there, and also was thankful to some wonderful friends who provided goods and sponsorships!  

Thank you to Images in Bloom, Flowers by Anji,  Office One Inc., MicroAdvantage, Inc. to name a few.  There were many more, but special thanks to these folks as both friends and sponsors.

I have discovered a new coffee flavor, Salted Caramel, from a local coffee shop.  I have brewed many pots while we worked on music, the gala, website development ideas, writing, business ideas, and yes . . . school papers!

4 out of 5 kids are off to school this year!  So all of that has kept us busy, along with all the fun activities they are venturing into this fall. 

I will be sponsoring another fundraiser for the Museum launching on September 26.  Be on the lookout for the announcement!

So, earlier, did I say website development? Yes!  The Five Workshop is under construction.  The website is expected to be launching in the coming weeks.  We have been working on branding, set up, and content, along with ideas and service offerings.   

More to come . . .

So, this is just a quick snapshot of what has been going on.   Please stay tuned!  We have so much  yet to come.  Bring on the Salted Caramel coffee. 

And, thanks to all of you who have started following The Five Workshop.  We appreciate you.

 

Autumn Inspiration on Spotify

Treat yourself to today’s post— 

Autumn Inspiration on Spotify

 https://play.spotify.com/user/jenalopez2379/playlist/3k0DiPisIYV7QpCmd2gKR3

 As fall approaches, we may find ourselves contemplating change.  The change of seasons, the start of school, the end of summer.  Pictured here are a few places where I have spent time in reflection.

When changes come, we often need some time to think.  We see things happening around us and start to ask questions. They may be practical things like “How will I get everyone where they need to go?” or “How will I get this list done today?”  They may be deep things like “What does my next 3-5 years look like?” or “How am I doing on leading?”

Taking time to think and reflect is important.  Practicing these techniques takes discipline, and freedom from the “oughts” for a short time.

Give yourself some space today to dream, reflect, honor someone who is no longer with you, take joy in something simple, laugh with someone, create, inspire.

Jen

Just One More Thing. . . Featuring a Drummer and the Wendy's Drive Thru

For those of you that have been waiting for this blog post, let me introduce you to my husband.  He is the drummer who makes me laugh, and cool dad to our 5 kids. 

  Just one more thing . . .

So, when my wife asked me to be a guest blogger, which is apparently different from a website, Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest, I was a bit intimidated.  I don’t like social media very much and I’m certainly not up to speed on the latest trends, socially accepted norms, and ways of communicating without having to actually be present. 

As a matter of fact, I felt a bit like I was in a Wendy’s drive thru being pressured to order promptly while my 5 kids shout their orders at me.  Jen usually tries to reassure me to breathe and remember it's not the end of the world.

I’m not completely sure why I felt this way about writing, but I think it’s partly due to me thinking Jen is such a great creative writer, and knowing although I do have something valuable to offer, I am worried I won't get my message across.  And then there’s the whole thing of it being public.  Anyways, that being said, I have taken the plunge and went ahead with my first “blog” on the worldwide web (a.k.a. the internet).

So, I’m coming to terms with the reality that remaining emotionally in control when the pressure is on is still a struggle. That’s right, I’m a man with many struggles –but don’t worry I’m not in Corporate America, so I can publicly admit it without legal implications.  

Whether it’s a big issue or small (a la Wendy’s drive thru), I’ve noticed some of the same behaviors.  Often times my perception of pressure differs from Jen’s, considering our unique relationship.  That's for another blog post.

What exactly happens to me in the drive-thru anyway?  Funny as that question may sound, some deeply embedded feelings are worth exploring in how they affect me, and the people who have the unfortunate privilege of being around me when I feel that “pressure.” 

I know I am not an imposition, but that’s one of the first feelings that hit me when I don’t have my family’s order together (food, schedule, life-order etc.).  I feel the need to apologize as though I’m wasting their time.  After all “they” (the establishment -substitute your own here if you want) could find out how dysfunctional we are for not planning ahead, kids screaming, and some guy not being able to form sentences in the English language.  

Now that I think about it, I’m probably the reason fast food chains came up with the numbers system when ordering.   At the very least, all I have to do is hold up the number four in my hand or scream out “a six, a two . . . no make that three twos and two ones…and go biggie on that one two in the middle.”    By that time, I give a glance over to Jen.  I am begging for some mercy from her to not make me order any more.  But the famous last words always come.  I say “you know, I’m sorry, just one more thing . . .”  

It feels like chaos to me, both internally and externally.  Shame is reminding me that I don’t quite have it altogether like I should for dad of my age, or maybe this is a reflection of my lack of great parenting.   In reality, I know these things aren’t true. Yet, in those hectic moments, I quickly want to start imposing that shame in the form of rules and policies like “We are never coming back here again!” “Stop making a mess!”

Or I just order the same thing for everyone.  I immediately want to control things because it feels so out of control.

That response is the opposite of what I really should be doing most of the time.  Achieving a balanced perspective in that moment is obviously elusive to me. 

Then, I suddenly have this funny thought.

What if I was the one in the window taking the orders and I saw this guy doing all this?  As the van rolls up to the window, I think I would say to the guy, “Bro, it’s cool.  You know, you are paying for this. Relax.”

What is the point here?  Grace is hard.  It is hard to offer to yourself and to others.  I think having grace is essential to achieving that balance of perspective, and to maintain emotional intelligence.  Religious or not, in moments of chaos, there has to be a way to cling to some kind of grace.  For you and for those around you.

leadership lesson:  Grace is hard.  Do it anyway.

dream builder:  Step outside of yourself for a moment to gain a new perspective of the situation.  You may be surprised at the grace you can actually have toward yourself.

World Changers: Plays on Spotify

http://open.spotify.com/user/jenalopez2379/playlist/2p6K1c5I7SxuaNw8t80Q3G

Enjoy the rainy afternoon with a few recommendations to get your ideas flowing.

If it is not raining where you are, you can still listen in the car, at the beach, or while you clean.

Here's to your endeavors!

Mountains, Time, and My Tears

Mountains, Time, and My Tears

The Pennsylvania mountains stretch before me.  I have a car full of kids filled with excitement and wonder.  I am next to the guy that decided to join me on this adventure (among many others).

My life looks very different than the last few times I approached these mountains.  As the soft curves of green trees fill up my view, memories flood my heart and hot tears stream down my face.  The last two times I traveled here were to escape. We were going through some difficult times, and heading out to get away from it all seemed like a good idea.

So for years I avoided this mountainous highway because of these very things.  Emotion.  Feeling.  Fear.  It is as if these mountains held secrets captive for me, and I could never face this place again.  For a time, it was OK to shut this place down.  I had a lot of other life I was living.

But now as I drive this highway, I can’t keep the tears back even if I try.  I reach over to my husband, hold his hand, look through the windows, and experience a whole wave of emotions.  Gratitude is primary.  This trip is healing, and the healing is sweet.

“Home” is the word that crosses my mind.  I had never lived here before, but this is where my life essentially began.  My grandparents met and married here.  My parents traveled these roads on the way to college.  I was born while they were in college.  I traveled here for Thanksgiving with all my family one year.  I came here right after my dad died.  The last time I was here, my husband and I escaped for a weekend away after going through a difficult time in our marriage and family. 

Gratitude isn’t really the number one emotion I felt would come to me when I approached this place again.  But, even as I write this, I smile.  This is how I desire to live life.  I want to know that the most unexpected beautiful thing can come from a whole lot of unexpected not so beautiful things, and that you can keep choosing life and choosing to face that which may hold you captive.  I traveled to these mountains because my heart was ready.  I want my children to know history, meet my dad’s family, and now be our own family in a place of solitude, freedom and serenity.

There is nothing else to describe this, except that I had one more chance to face myself.  To embrace the fact that all of these things had to take place to bring me right here to this moment—to do the things I have done, to hope for the things I have yet to do, and to be here now enjoying what I have been given.   

Yes, I believe in second chances (probably more like third, fourth, and then some).

Why does this matter?   It matters because we are human, and we are built on relationships and connection.  And we cannot be authentically connected with others unless we are authentically connected with ourselves.  Our souls do not leave when we show up at work.  They certainly don’t leave if we become parents.  Our soul doesn’t cease to exist when we take on our profession or we move to a new place to start over.   We all come from somewhere.  We are here today because we were born into something.  Even if it is not a perfect story, it is our story.  And we are becoming someone new every day.  Every life event that happens teaches us something, and we can carve out our path in response to it.  Along the way, we will still feel pain, sorrow, illness, betrayal, fear.  Yes, we will.  I certainly cannot understand some of these things and struggle at times to find answers.  I just want to shut them down and move on.

Today, though, I let this trip be a new experience.  

Sometimes the mountains we climb lead us right back home.   There are also times we do need to start over.  Whatever it is, we can experience it fully.  Live it and breathe it in.  And in the process, while we are working and parenting and leading, I hope we give others the gift of knowing that they have a story, too.  And that it does not have to be the ending.  Right now, right here, we are part of that for each other.  What world will we create?  What memories will we make? What legacy will we leave?

Everything led us here.  Home tells a story.  Face it, feel it, find sweetness in it.  Then, when we are willing to hand it over, we can find some new ground, and we choose a glorious path every time we do it.  We now start a story that our grandchildren will tell and their grandchildren will tell.  Yes, we have to leave our story behind a few times to make way for new things, especially if there are painful things that keep us from being authentic.  There are some of us that need to simply let go of it and give ourselves permission to be new.   

For me, after all these years, I realize I want my great grandchildren to visit these mountains one day.  My hope is that they will see all of it, take the pieces that mean something to them, and carve their own path.

leadership lesson:  Authentic leadership is about knowing yourself and others well.

dream builder:  Keep the parts of your story that mean something.  Let go of the other stuff.  Create your own legacy.

Be Classy

Yes, I am a bit old fashioned.

Lately the dinner music in our house has been Tony Bennett.  There is something about his smooth voice and the wonderful classics that brings out the old fashioned side of myself.  The music is all about the feel-good vibes we need to bring to our day.  Not only that, but it just has some class.

That class really shines when we talk about service.  If only everyone could have the smooth edge of Tony Bennett or the ease of a good jazz standard as they deliver world-class service.

Lately, I have just been happening to notice when people stand out with some class.  It is not just that they want to deliver more than what we expect, but they have a genuine ease in serving.  And they aren't afraid to have a bit of an old fashioned touch.

One example was my recent visit to a local hardware store.   I have to admit I was delighted because of the attention to details you wouldn't normally expect.  They remembered my name, they smiled, they had a big stone fireplace for cold, rainy days.  In a hardware store?  Yes!  And, my kids and I really loved that they used old Radio Flyers for you to lug your goodies from the greenhouse.  They helped you to your car, and even loaded it up for you.  Yes, that is what I am talking about.  Good old-fashioned class. Looks a little different from a jazz standard, but has the same feel-good vibe.  It made me look forward to my next visit and a proud new customer. 

So, class comes in many different forms, but let's go back to Tony Bennett.

From New York Magazine:

 “…his voice is still a technical marvel, and no one else on Earth can make a lyric written eight decades ago sound as natural as a conversation at a coffee shop.”

This summer, The Five Workshop challenges you to Be Classy.  Bring a little Tony Bennett to your day.


leadership lesson:  Being classy is really all about authenticity in serving and not being afraid to be a bit old-fashioned.

dream builder:  Look for opportunities to create a feel-good vibe and a touch of class in everything you do.  It stands out, brings joy, and never gets old.

Now, for your listening pleasure, sit back and enjoy.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIrcxGdyUdk


 

 

#adayinthelifeofme: April 25: Don't Wait Until You're Dying to Really Live

A great read from my friend Jacqui.  Thanks, Jacqui!

#adayinthelifeofme: April 25: Don't Wait Until You're Dying to Really Live

Look Again

Bring on the Chandelier

Re-imagining the Flower Stand

A modern coffee shop

It is Saturday.  I wake up at 3:30 in the morning and I can't sleep.  Sometimes this time in the morning brings the unusual quiet I need to think.  What do I do?  Well, naturally, I start up my computer and decide to listen to a message on being limitless.  Now that is a sure way to get me back to sleep!

The message challenges me in this quiet hour of the morning with two words: "Look again."  Being limitless means being able to go back and see something (even if it just feels like a little bit of nothing) from a different perspective, with an eye of appreciation, or a mind that inquires, "How can I make something more of this?"

It is like going back in the kitchen cupboards and seeing what kind of meal you can create out of a few ingredients.  It can be very limiting to have only a few things, but it may also inspire a new and creative recipe.

I was inspired all week to test this out.  Pictured above are places where I looked again at Cleveland. This city is a place that is being reborn, and every time I venture out, I find a surprise by giving myself permission to look again.

So, I embarked on some adventures inspired by those very words.  I enjoyed a day at the park right in my neighborhood, wading in a creek, walking through the trees, and eating PB & J on a big swing while the kids played on the playground. 

I took a lunch break to check out the amazing new chandelier in Playhouse Square.  The design is fascinating, and I am really curious to see how it bears these Cleveland winters!  I can already imagine the beautiful crystals glistening above the snowy streets.

Then, I had a fabulous time at the 5th Street Arcades on Thursday.  It is buzzing with coffee and tea shops, clothing stores, and plenty of food places that include sugary treats to vegan delights.  I even picked up a little bunch of paper roses at a fresh take on a flower shop called Love Anji.  My lunch walk reminded me to notice the stunning architecture of the arcades, with intricate details in the buildings and wonderful sky lights.

So, the 5 workshop sends a challenge your way this spring. 
Look again.  Before condemning something or writing it off as nothing, take a second look.  Take even a little bit of something and build on it.  From the message: "Look again.  Go look again in your community, in your church, in your city, in your home, in your family, in your marriage . . . Go look again!"

It works everywhere.  Sometimes, we even write ourselves off as people who don't have anything really great to give.  We may have failed or took a detour on our life journey. 
We may even write others off as being useless or lacking potential or worse yet, total failures.  Well, what if we look again?  We all love the idea of buried treasure . . . so let's find one thing we can appreciate.  And then take it one more step:  see how we can turn it into something more.

leadership lesson:  Looking again is a great way to see potential that leads to transformation.

dream builder: Looking again may inspire a new adventure or spark a new idea on something where we felt all hope was lost.

If you want to know more about the 5th Street Arcades, take a peek at the website!  The story is sure to inspire.

http://www.5thstreetarcades.com/info/aboutUs

hello, how are you?

I haven't thought much about these four words so much in my life.  The last few days, though, I realized again the beautiful importance of these words.
Only if we listen.


When I ask how are you, it can easily end with  "Fine.  Everything is going great.  Yes, yes it is."
It seems so quick.  But, it is rather convenient.
It takes a bit more work to have to engage in talking to someone.  And, sometimes we run from it because it doesn't feel very productive.  I have things to get done!

But, in those moments, those precious moments when something else isn't tugging at you, these sparkling jewels of transformation appear! And when I meet someone in that way, where I get to hear their story, my whole self lights up!  It ends up feeling very selfish.

They give me a great gift of really knowing them.  I am changed each time I choose to embrace that moment.  I learn about how someone aches for their mother years after her death.  I learn about someone's travels to the United States from another country.  I hear about someone's spouse, child, sister, brother, friend, niece, or nephew.  Others share what may be happening at work, or at their church or community.  I hear how people have tried to run their own businesses, opened their hearts to a dream, just got back from a weekend trip.  Others have shared to the point of wonderful laughter, teary eyes, and anger (yes, anger).  It is a lovely gift.  It is our connection to one another and our humanity.

Now, I know every conversation cannot be transformational, but I have encountered the beauty of others so many times when I decide to enter in after the "Hello, how are you?"  This risk we take may lead us to having to see another person beyond what we need from them at that moment.  

This week, the 5 workshop invites you to take 5 minutes, and ask someone how they are with a bit more behind it . . . curiosity to know more. 


leadership lesson:  Curiosity behind leadership is inviting.  People have ideas and stories to share.

dream builder: Our curiosity opens us up to possibilities.  When you learn about others, it is possible to learn something about yourself, too.

What does a grand piano have to do with leading?

 

What does a grand piano have to do with leading?

88 Keys.  Sleek.  Sophisticated.  The right player will captivate the audience.

Now what does that have to do with leading?

The piano forces you to embrace every aspect of music:  rhythm, sound, volume,  dynamics, emotion, focus, discipline.  When it was first developed, it could have been thought of more as a machine that should be conquered.  According to The Telegraph, it takes over 12 months and 50 people to create the perfect piano.  The grand piano can be an intimidating instrument, with so many things to control. You have to think about the notes you are playing, when to use the pedals to sustain, how long to sustain. You can dampen the sound of the notes.  You can infuse emotion into the sound.

And all of this comes from within the person.  They must think, respond, act, and pull something out of this machine that is full of emotion and still sounds like music.  A true pianist may ask if they will ever master this beautiful instrument, or if they will be a forever student in process of creating a masterpiece.

And so is leadership.  We are students of what we are leading.  We are called to listen, maybe even with more intensity that we may be willing to risk.  We have so many things to think about at one time, and yet we have to produce something grand.

Soft piano is playing now in the background in my home, bringing a sense of peace (where 5 kids are now tucked in bed), reminding me that we must not stop feeling if we are going to lead well. 

So, may we take a risk and lead with feeling, listening intently to what is happening around us.  This risk may lead us to our greatest work.

For extra fun on understanding the beauty of the grand piano, read The Telegraph Object Lesson on Steinway & Sons grand piano.  A wonderful video accompanies . . .

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/luxury/design/7593/object-lesson-the-steinway-sons-model-b-grand-piano.html

leadership lesson: Be challenged to listen in ways we have never done before, embracing a new perspective or understanding.

dream builder:  Listening & leading with feeling may lead us to discovering our greatest work.

the 5 best things I ever gave up to pursue my dreams

So, my dreams have changed over the years, that is true.  But each time I have chosen to go after one of my dreams, I knew that I must sacrifice something.  the5workshop topic for today: focusing on the 5 best things I gave up to start transforming my own life (which in turn has helped me as a leader).

The 5 best things I ever gave up to pursue my dreams . . .

the way the laundry is done
My husband and I have had to be partners for a long time as we have worked, gone to school and raise 5 kids.  When I finally admitted I needed help running the house, one of the hardest things to do was to give up how the laundry was done.  I wanted it done my way.  The strangest thing happened, though.  He didn't want to do it my way.  It was time to make a decision.  If we were going to keep up, then I was going to have to stop caring about it being my way and just take the help.  That lesson goes way beyond just the laundry.   
leadership lesson: Help is a great thing, and modeling help as a way of working together builds a solid team (even in our house).
dream builder:  It's easier to reach goals with the right support.

the idea that I can't
Somewhere along the way, each time I have been faced with a decision that would push me forward, I suddenly have this attack that paralyzes me and says, "What are you thinking?  You can't do this!  You have no idea what you are doing!"  What have I done every time I face that paralyzing moment?  I have no idea.  Nothing brilliant comes to mind.  But, here are a few tips: I decide to put one foot in front of the other and stop listening to that voice.  I think of all the people that chose to do something outside of their own comfort zone, and get inspired.  I may even check in with someone who has mentored me along the way.  I also decide that I have only one life I am living, and I don't want to miss an opportunity to learn something new.  
leadership lesson: We start seeing other people as can-do people, too.
dream builder: Find others that see you as someone full of potential and let them coach you.


fear I will say the wrong thing
This is the hardest one to give up, note the word "is."  This is an active sacrifice for me, but it no longer keeps me up at night.  I know I will say the wrong thing occasionally, and I just have to learn how to deal with it when it happens.  I may have to humble myself and ask for forgiveness if I hurt someone.  Most times, though, I have had to trust in my relationships enough that people will come to me if I said something wrong.  And public speaking?  Well, I just keep working on that one.  Sometimes I just dare myself to do it.  Other times, I have worked with coaches and mentors along the way to help me polish some of my speaking and writing skills.
leadership lesson:  If we say the wrong thing and hurt someone (even an employee or  child), it's OK to be humble about it.  We may have to ask for forgiveness occasionally.
dream builder: Our voice is a very powerful tool that can bring great change.

my past faux pas
I daily make mistakes, and I have also made big ones over my lifetime.  This one is simple.  We are not who we were yesterday.  We wake up every day and have to make a choice to live differently and accept those things, forgive them, and even use them to remind us that we have come a long way and can be grateful for that.  It is a great reminder to keep making choices that will positively affect our future.  
leadership lesson: Lead others like we are watching them transform before our very eyes.    
dream builder: We are not who we were yesterday (we all can choose to be transformed).


unforgiveness
This is a big one.  As leaders and parents, we don't even like to talk about it.  I am not sure I have ever heard the word forgiveness in a business setting.  It is a big topic, and may require a lot of deep work.  Find someone you trust, and ask them to help.  My own lack of forgiveness has, at times, affected my ability to lead well.  Not everyone will appreciate this one, so risk-takers welcome!
leadership lesson:  Forgiveness leads to thriving relationships and is not limited to just our family.
dream builder:  Forgiveness is freedom.  Letting go of things that hold us back is always a good thing.


 

Launching the 5 workshop January 12. 10:57 pm. the Sunday before Monday. 2014.