the 5 best things I ever gave up to pursue my dreams

So, my dreams have changed over the years, that is true.  But each time I have chosen to go after one of my dreams, I knew that I must sacrifice something.  the5workshop topic for today: focusing on the 5 best things I gave up to start transforming my own life (which in turn has helped me as a leader).

The 5 best things I ever gave up to pursue my dreams . . .

the way the laundry is done
My husband and I have had to be partners for a long time as we have worked, gone to school and raise 5 kids.  When I finally admitted I needed help running the house, one of the hardest things to do was to give up how the laundry was done.  I wanted it done my way.  The strangest thing happened, though.  He didn't want to do it my way.  It was time to make a decision.  If we were going to keep up, then I was going to have to stop caring about it being my way and just take the help.  That lesson goes way beyond just the laundry.   
leadership lesson: Help is a great thing, and modeling help as a way of working together builds a solid team (even in our house).
dream builder:  It's easier to reach goals with the right support.

the idea that I can't
Somewhere along the way, each time I have been faced with a decision that would push me forward, I suddenly have this attack that paralyzes me and says, "What are you thinking?  You can't do this!  You have no idea what you are doing!"  What have I done every time I face that paralyzing moment?  I have no idea.  Nothing brilliant comes to mind.  But, here are a few tips: I decide to put one foot in front of the other and stop listening to that voice.  I think of all the people that chose to do something outside of their own comfort zone, and get inspired.  I may even check in with someone who has mentored me along the way.  I also decide that I have only one life I am living, and I don't want to miss an opportunity to learn something new.  
leadership lesson: We start seeing other people as can-do people, too.
dream builder: Find others that see you as someone full of potential and let them coach you.


fear I will say the wrong thing
This is the hardest one to give up, note the word "is."  This is an active sacrifice for me, but it no longer keeps me up at night.  I know I will say the wrong thing occasionally, and I just have to learn how to deal with it when it happens.  I may have to humble myself and ask for forgiveness if I hurt someone.  Most times, though, I have had to trust in my relationships enough that people will come to me if I said something wrong.  And public speaking?  Well, I just keep working on that one.  Sometimes I just dare myself to do it.  Other times, I have worked with coaches and mentors along the way to help me polish some of my speaking and writing skills.
leadership lesson:  If we say the wrong thing and hurt someone (even an employee or  child), it's OK to be humble about it.  We may have to ask for forgiveness occasionally.
dream builder: Our voice is a very powerful tool that can bring great change.

my past faux pas
I daily make mistakes, and I have also made big ones over my lifetime.  This one is simple.  We are not who we were yesterday.  We wake up every day and have to make a choice to live differently and accept those things, forgive them, and even use them to remind us that we have come a long way and can be grateful for that.  It is a great reminder to keep making choices that will positively affect our future.  
leadership lesson: Lead others like we are watching them transform before our very eyes.    
dream builder: We are not who we were yesterday (we all can choose to be transformed).


unforgiveness
This is a big one.  As leaders and parents, we don't even like to talk about it.  I am not sure I have ever heard the word forgiveness in a business setting.  It is a big topic, and may require a lot of deep work.  Find someone you trust, and ask them to help.  My own lack of forgiveness has, at times, affected my ability to lead well.  Not everyone will appreciate this one, so risk-takers welcome!
leadership lesson:  Forgiveness leads to thriving relationships and is not limited to just our family.
dream builder:  Forgiveness is freedom.  Letting go of things that hold us back is always a good thing.